324B21
by ambre gris
Summary: I don't want to feel like just another serial number coming off an assembly line. Please tell me I'm more than that. Cophine, S01E10. One-shot. Cosima POV.


**Author's Note**: What a season finale, eh? And look at all the action this fandom is getting! I love it and the fact that it's growing and developing into a new section for writers to contribute to. :) Anyway, here's some more Cophine love for ya'll. I don't own Orphan Black or any of its characters but I'll be sailing this ship to the ends of the earth. Please enjoy!

* * *

**324B21**

Well, I wanted this. The truth. I just can't decide which hurts more — the truth or the burning, blooming pain in my lungs.

When this whole ordeal started, back when it was just me and Alison, Katja and Beth, I had decided I would use any and all of the knowledge I'd acquired to help figure out just what was going on. It's safe to say that normal students go and get summer internships… but not me. As of yet I still lack a degree, though this "real life experience" is something I can put down on paper later, right? And what an engaging, thought-provoking dissertation it would be.

Not only that, but from the beginning I had promised myself that I wouldn't let the feeling of being a lab rat get to me. Thus far it's worked in my favor, so what did I really expect to find as I dug deeper and deeper? I don't know, to be honest. A tell-all, end-all, I guess. That's why I kept going. The unknown calls to a scientific mind. I can't rest easy if I don't have the answer and I haven't been getting much rest at all lately.

When I had asked Scott to sequence my DNA with the German's, I had no idea what he would come up with. Initially I really _had _been looking for links to respiratory failure. I could have used the genetic material of any of the samples I had obtained, but when a cough developed that wouldn't go away, I knew I had to use Katja's. Then, when the differentiate surfaced, I was hellbent on decoding it, or at least trying to uncover a reason as to why it was there. I put that pesky cough aside for the time being to focus on the one piece of our shared DNA that Leekie could use to tell us apart. I wasn't feeling under the weather so long as I had leads to follow.

Now, as I sit and stare at the patent message on my computer screen, I'm wishing I had gotten some help sooner. I can taste blood in the back of my throat as I try to swallow that feeling of being just another entry in a catalogue, just another test subject. God, it fucking hurts to know that some entity somewhere has claimed the very molecular foundations that make up my being as mere property. I think back to the phone call I just made to Sarah and the thought of someone slapping her with a suit over Kira has me tearing up. We aren't objects of ownership. We may have been created with a specific purpose in mind but the majority of us were raised with love, by real people. Kira was born from her mother's love, not of an intentional, scientific experiment.

For a second I forget that Delphine's here with me, watching every action and reaction. A hitch in my chest almost prevents me from turning to her but I manage to suppress it and I take a shaky breath to tell her the truth.

"I'm sick, Delphine." Those three words bite my tongue as they leave my mouth and I allow her to pull me into an embrace. Tears fall from behind my glasses and onto her perfect, soft shoulder. I feel her tears, too, wet and warm at my neck. As I hold on to her I realize that she's been by my side all day, helping me, watching all of this come to a head. While I'm regretting the discovery at all for the pain it's causing, I am grateful to Delphine for her insight and information. Even more, her support is more than I could have asked for.

_"I'm on your side now. Please believe me."_

"I believe you," I say through a sob. She pulls back and takes my face in her hands. She looks so tired yet so relieved to hear it. I need her just as much as she needs me.

"Cosima. No one can ever own you." She's so serious and I ignore the painful swelling in my chest to acknowledge her.

"You have me. I'm yours."

"But I don't _own_ you," she replies, shaking her head. "You are unique. A beautiful soul in an equally beautiful form. And it all belongs to you, okay? I have the power to help you and hold you when it hurts. I have love for you and the heart that contains it which I can give to you. But I will never claim you as my property or take what is rightfully yours by birth. And I won't let them take any of it either." I sense our bond starting to mend and it's a good feeling that fills me up and floats me over all of the bad.

"Thank you. For everything." I'm no longer just a test subject to her… or a way in to Leekie. She wants to protect me. I want to protect her, too.

"And I'm going to make you better, _ma chérie_. Whatever it takes." I nod, reaching up to brush the hair from her forehead. We move forward together and share the most gentle kiss I've ever known. In the length of a heartbeat she pulls me onto her, cradling me to her body on the most uncomfortable couch in the world that has now been made tolerable by her presence.

She's so warm and it's the only thing I want to feel after such a trying day. As we lay and our breaths deepen and begin to sync, I can finally sleep. It's not over, not by a long shot... but tomorrow can wait.


End file.
